Monday, February 10, 2014

Mourning to Celebration

I want to stop mourning and simply celebrate!

I recently had an encounter with a well-meaning woman.  When she discovered that I had a special needs daughter, she shared with me something she read.  The story was basically about how we plan and plan for a trip to Italy (the birth of the "perfect" baby) only to discover that we are in Holland.  I think she was trying to help me to understand my experience …or perhaps she just wanted to share.  Although I completely understand that she was just trying to relate to me, I wanted to tell her that she really has no idea what it is like to parent a child with special needs.  She really just cannot relate.

And then…

I went to a conference for women this past weekend and I had TONS of thoughts and ideas about ministry, family and life go through my head.  There was one phrase that I just couldn't shake…stop mourning and celebrate.

I mourn that my daughter doesn't have "friends" her age.
I mourn that my daughter was overwhelmed at the father and daughter dance because it was too loud.
I mourn that Emma Grace (my almost 13 year old daughter) plans to always have a room for her sister in her house when she is married.  (I know it is sweet and amazing, but it is also sad.)
I mourn that Jacob, Emma Grace and Zoey have to gauge their sister's mood before they joke around and sometimes even speak to her.  
I mourn that my daughter will not go to homecoming or prom.
I mourn that my daughter will not experience life as a college student.
I mourn that my daughter will never experience what it feels like to fall in love.
I mourn that my daughter will never have a wedding.
I mourn that my daughter will not be a mother.
I mourn that Scott and I will not be empty nesters.  (selfish, I know)

I am tired of mourning the never.  I want to celebrate who she is and what she can do.  

"For You formed my inward parts;

You wove me in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;

And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them."

Psalm 139: 13-16

My daughter is perfect.  

She may not experience the same life experiences as Emma Grace.  

Scottie is perfect.  

She experiences life differently, but that does not make it less of a life.  

She loves differently, but she doesn't love less.  

She sees the world differently, in fact she sees more.  

How do I shift my feelings and thoughts from mourning the nevers and celebrate the what is and what can be?  
Today, I choose to believe that God has a plan for her life.  That plan is beautiful, amazing and FULL.  She will not have less of a life, but rather her life will enrich the lives of those she loves.  I celebrate my daughter because her Creator knitted her together wonderfully.

If I want her family and the world to celebrate Scottie, then it must start with me.

Today, I will stop mourning and CELEBRATE!.



1 comment:

  1. Amy - no mourning needed! Celebration is the beginning of opening up the possibilities - never say never! No one thought Corwyn would go to college when he was younger, but here he is in college and got invited to be in the Leadership Society! Baby steps along the way in retrospect look like leaps and bounds!
    Scottie will rise to what you believe in her and she will surprise you - my boys are shining examples of that! Strengthen every day and build a little each day & believe in what you and Scottie want Scottie to be!
    She will never be more than the expectation that is put before her! Dream Big!
    We struggled through dances and moods can still be an issue - but had we never believed in them and set high standards for the boys - they might still be in the long program to graduation from high school instead of both doing well and being in the Leadership Society bettering themselves still!
    Love you, Scottie and your entire beautiful family! ~muah~