In a quick five minute conversation about my day with my husband, he summed up my day by saying, "Sounds like you are feeling emotionally humiliated." As I write the words, they make me smile because they sound so harsh and unloving. When the truth of the words actually gave me great perspective and encouragement.
You see I was emotionally vulnerable yesterday...no reason...just vulnerable. I allowed others (including Scott) see me unguarded and broken. I was humiliated by my human weakness. I was humiliated that I was not cool, calm and collected; I was not in control.
As I rocked my sweet Zoey to sleep last night, I reflected on Scott's words and God spoke a new word to my humiliated heart. I am loved by a God whose mercies are new every morning. I am loved by a God who knows and understands that YES I am in fact human, but I have hope of a brighter tomorrow. I am loved by a God who can take my mini-emotional breakdown and use it to demonstrate His love for me. I am loved by a God who uses ALL things for His glory. I am loved by a God who loves me entirely and completely, and He is not surprised by irrational moments. I am loved by a God who sees the woman He wants me to be even when I cannot. I am loved by a God who gives me ample opportunity to learn and grow...never EVER giving up on me.
Instead of going to bed feeling defeated and hopeless, I went to bed feeling hopeful and encouraged. I will not allow my yucky human moments define who I am or who I will be. Only God and His truths will define me. Today, I choose God's definition! Today, I choose to believe what God thinks of me! Today, I choose to believe in the One who created me! Today, I choose God!
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The Lord is good to those whose hopes is in him, to the one who seeks him" Lamentations 3:22-25
"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:5
"The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made." Psalm 145:5