Saturday, February 18, 2012


Yesterday was one of those days that I wish I could have a do over.  By the time I came home from teaching and everyone was settled into their evening routine, I just wanted to crawl into bed and pretend that the day had never happened. 

In a quick five minute conversation about my day with my husband, he summed up my day by saying, "Sounds like you are feeling emotionally humiliated."  As I write the words, they make me smile because they sound so harsh and unloving.  When the truth of the words actually gave me great perspective and encouragement.

You see I was emotionally vulnerable reason...just vulnerable.  I allowed others (including Scott) see me unguarded and broken.  I was humiliated by my human weakness.  I was humiliated that I was not cool, calm and collected; I was not in control. 

As I rocked my sweet Zoey to sleep last night, I reflected on Scott's words and God spoke a new word to my humiliated heart.  I am loved by a God whose mercies are new every morning.  I am loved by a God who knows and understands that YES I am in fact human, but I have hope of a brighter tomorrow.  I am loved by a God who can take my mini-emotional breakdown and use it to demonstrate His love for me.  I am loved by a God who uses ALL things for His glory.  I am loved by a God who loves me entirely and completely, and He is not surprised by irrational moments.  I am loved by a God who sees the woman He wants me to be even when I cannot.  I am loved by a God who gives me ample opportunity to learn and grow...never EVER giving up on me.

Instead of going to bed feeling defeated and hopeless, I went to bed feeling hopeful and encouraged.  I will not allow my yucky human moments define who I am or who I will be.  Only God and His truths will define me.  Today, I choose God's definition!  Today, I choose to believe what God thinks of me!  Today, I choose to believe in the One who created me!  Today, I choose God!

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The Lord is good to those whose hopes is in him, to the one who seeks him"  Lamentations 3:22-25

"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."  Romans 5:5

 "The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made."  Psalm 145:5

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