It Starts With Me: My Superhero

Scott is my superhero.

Our 20th Anniversary

Scott and I have been married for 20 years. I know I don't look old enough to be married for 20 years...ok, I realize that how I look in my head is not reality. It is mind boggling that this man chose me. I am a mess. My self esteem sucks. He has spent a lifetime building me up. He believes in me, way more than I believe in myself. He wants more for me, than I could ever dream for myself. He is freaking amazing. He really, really is!

The past few weeks, I have been reflecting on our marriage and who this man is for me, our family, and for everyone else. What I cannot get out of my head is that he is my superhero. My knight in shining armor. He truly is.

A few years ago, I felt like the bottom fell out from beneath me and I could not find my way out of this pit of doubt and humiliation. I experienced an attack on my character and endured such humiliation. I struggled with the knowing the difference between being humbled and humiliated.

The afternoon that I received the phone call that kickstarted this downward spiral, I did not know what to do except call Scott. He immediately took action. He asked the right questions. He assured me that my feelings of disbelief were correct. And, he made phone calls and demanded answers. He drove immediately to speak to someone, to anyone. He fought for me.

The end results were not positive for me. I spent days, weeks, months...shoot years, feeling humiliated and embarrassed every time I saw some of their faces. I was left wondering what remained of my character. But despite the ickiness that I am still dealing with, the entire experience demonstrated to me that my husband would fight for me.

As I deal with the aftermath, Scott has had to remind me time and time again who I am. He would remind me of the truth. The positive things that I have done were not erased. He has had to singlehandedly build me back up. When tough love was needed and perspective given, he did so with such love and mercy. When I just couldn't get past the hurt, he extended grace and allowed me to just feel it without trying to fix it. He has been incredible. He was my superhero that summer day, but he has continued to be...he is my biggest fan!

On Sunday, Scott and I went to visit one of our sweet friends who was in her final days with her battle against cancer. I am not good with death. I am awkward. I don't know what to say. How to say it. What to do with myself. But Scott knew that I needed to go and say goodbye to my friend. I needed to do it for me, for her family, and for her...this woman that I just adore. A woman whose hunger for God's Word and complete joy was inspiring to me. My superhero knows me well...

Scott was sitting next to her holding her hand and he would just talk to her. He told her that we loved her and how amazing heaven would be when she got there. He assured her that we would help take care of her family and to not worry about them. He played a song for her. He found a picture of our Scottie to show her because she just loved our Scottie. He would pet her bald head. Lean in and listen to her talk. When things were confusing and she wasn't making sense, he spoke to her with such dignity knowing she could hear him. He told her she was going to be in heaven and not feel pain anymore and she said "we all go to heaven." And he smiled and told her "Yes we will all go to heaven, but you just might beat us there. And that's ok. We will see you there."

And all I could think was that this man who is my superhero is the kindest pastor. He speaks truth. He loves with grace and mercy. He extends hope and peace through his godly reassurances. He exudes such calmness...it's like, if he is there then everything will be ok. He isn't just my superhero...he is actually a superhero. He doesn't get public recognition for moments like this (and nor does he want it), but I saw it that afternoon. Those who have experienced moments like this with him know that there is something so special about him. God has gifted him in extraordinary ways, and I for some reason have the privilege of being his wife...his partner.

Superheroes may not be out front where everyone can see and hear them.
Superheroes may not be the lead story on the news.
Superheroes may not have their names lighting up the sky.

Superheroes fight for those who need someone to fight for them.
Superheroes offer truth with grace and mercy.
Superheroes encourage and build you up...not tear you down.

I believe real superheroes are known for how they love others.