I simply must love them!

We recently returned from a mission trip to San Jose, Costa Rica.  As you might expect I experienced many things and had the awesome opportunity to serve with my husband, our son Jacob (age 13), our daughter Emma Grace (age 11), and 11 other amazing people. 

The church we served is in the process of opening a daycare for children whose parents If they did not have the daycare to go to, they would be left at home.  Many of these children end up as street kids...either dropping out of school or falling into the dark world of child prostitution.

Our children physically worked at the daycare...cutting down coffee plants (Jacob used a machete...WHAT?) and moving branches just to name a few.  However, the best part of the week was watching my kids PLAY!  They played hard.  Despite the language barrier, they played with children for hours and hours. 

Our first real work day consisted of working at the daycare and planning for the VBS we were hosting during the week.  I spent hours waiting for the director of the daycare to sit down with me to talk about what they wanted and needed from us that week.  I learned two important things during this sit down.

1.)  They needed us to help with the construction projects and the VBS was important, but what they really needed was for us to encourage them in the work they were doing.   I strongly believe that after we left what they will remember most about our team were the times we sat and talked and prayed.  They would remember that we didn't get upset when the schedule changed or that the bathroom our men wanted to build didn't get built.  They would remember that we simply wanted to serve them.

2.)  One of the communities the church reaches out to consists of the socialoutcasts.  One of the poorest areas in San Jose is down the road from this church.  They are refugees from Nicaragua.  They are poor.  They are not well liked by the Costa Ricans.  Their families are often broken and dysfunctional.  Their homes are made from whatever they can find...trash...when we pulled up to spend an afternoon with the kids, a roof on one of the houses fell off.  (Mom moment: Kids keep a good 5 feet from the houses, just in case.)  Our guide told us that incest is a common problem in this community.  Families live in small houses and sleep in one bed.  Moms are often at work while boyfriends stay home.  Young boys and girls have witnessed or experienced incest for generations.  What in the world could we possibly do to help?

As I sat on the bus, I watched the landscape change and all I could do was think about how could we help these young girls.  I couldn't stomach the idea of going to play for a few hours just to walk away knowing that their abuse would continue...who will fight for these girls?  My American mind was spinning and I wanted so much to ask the church what they planned on doing.  What could they do to help educate the men and women and keep them accountable for the well being of their children? 

We got off the bus and carried a trunk and suitcase full of bubbles, balls, fingernail polish, jump ropes, crafts, and so much more.  The kids (and their moms) start pouring into the fenced-in area where we planned on setting up our stuff.  Whenever we pulled an item out of the trunk, the kids (and their moms) started reaching and grabbing and asking...they weren't trying to hurt us; they just didn't want to miss out.  They have gone without for so long that a little bottle of bubbles is a treasure worth begging for...(Mom moment:  Kids shouldn't carry or handout anything, just in case.)

It didn't take long for our kids to jump in and play.  Jacob and the other boys started playing soccer with the locals.  No language necessary because playing ball is a universal game and form of entertainment.  Emma Grace found a little girl close to Zoey's age.  The little girl wore a t-shirt and a diaper and Emma Grace carried her around.  Some of our ladies sat down and painted faces and fingernails.  The three men on our trip are three of the finest, most godly men at our church.  They loved on these kiddos...having a positive male influence is a huge gift we were able to give these children.

The hours went by so fast and before I knew it we were packing up our stuff and headed back to our hotel...our kids were going to end their day with swimming, a great dinner (rice and beans, included), and then would fall asleep in their own beds (Jacob had a king size bed) in an air conditioned room.  We left that afternoon and there was no plan in place to "fix" anything.  There were no immediate answers and resolution; however, I learned the most amazing lesson.  Sometimes (ok most times) it isn't about fixing the broken, rather it is about loving the broken.  We showed up that afternoon with one goal in mind.  We were going to play and love on some of God's children for a few hours.  We wanted them to know that they are worth it.  Jesus came and loved the lost, broken, and sinful.

I don't have to be in a poor refugee village in order to love on the lost, broken, and sinful.  They are all around us...in every community.  They are at our churches, neighborhoods, and schools.  I don't have to fix them or come up with a plan to solve all their problems.  I simply must love them.

 "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This the great and first commandment.  And a second is life it:  You shall love your neighbor has yourself."  Matthew 22:37-39

"For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.  I was naked and you clothes me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me....And the King will answer them, Truly I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me."  Matthew 25:35-36 and 40

God's Whisper

Our sweet Scottie has asked every day since school has let out for the summer if tomorrow is a school day or if it is summer.  It would be one thing if she only asked once as she goes to bed, but that is not the case.  She probably asks no less than 50 times a day...50 times!  We try so hard to not get annoyed, and we simply answer her that it is summer! 

I wish Scottie had confidence in our answer. 
I wish she could just rest and have peace that she has weeks left until school starts again. 
I wish she was able to keep our answer and hold on to it and not doubt. 
I wish she did not feel anxious.

This afternoon in the car the question was asked again and my first instinct (after we have answered it numerous times already today) was to ignore her.  Then, I felt God whispering.

God wishes I had confidence in His answers, His Word, His Promises...in Him.
Jesus wishes I could just rest and have peace that He is in control and He will direct my path.
The Savior wishes I was able to hold on to the Truth and not doubt.
The Holy Spirit wishes I did not feel anxious.

Thank you Lord, for not ignoring me...

(My sweet Scottie how grateful I am that you continue to teach me lesson after lesson.)

The Beautiful, Precious Word of God

The last few weeks of this school year, my 8th grade students and I read God's Smuggler by Brother Andrew.  Honestly, I was not sure how the kiddos were going to feel about this book.  Would it mean the same to them as it did to me?  Would they be intrigued by Brother Andrew's journey and God-given mission?  Brother Andrew's mission was to minister and serve the "church" behind the Iron Curtain beginning in the 1950s.  On one of his early trips to Prague he attended a local church and it was there that he discovered something that would forever change his life.

Brother Andrew watched as people walked into church...a couple carrying hymnals, a few with Bibles, and an occasional person with a loose leaf notebook.  The following is an excerpt from this book.
"The service began.  I took a seat in the back and immediately had a surprise.  Almost everyone seemed farsighted!  The owners of the hymn books held them out at arm's length, high in the air.  Those with loose leaf notebooks did the same.  And then I realized: the people with books were sharing them with those who had none.  In the notebooks were copied, note by note and word by word, the favorite hymns of the congregation.

It was the same with the Bibles.  When the preacher announced the text, every Bible owner in the congregation found the reference and held his book high so that friends nearby could follow the reading,  As I watched those men and women struggling literally to get close to the Word, my hand closed over the Dutch Bible in my coat jacket.  How much for granted I had always taken my right to own this Book.  I thought that I would never reach for it again without remembering the old granny in front of me now, standing almost on tiptoe, squinting as she strained to see the words in the Bible her son held aloft."  (pages 94-95)

Because of this experience and knowledge that the "church" wanted and needed the Word of God so desperately, Brother Andrew began smuggling Bibles into the communist countries. 

When I read this passage, I was overwhelmed because I was reminded of a time when I could not get enough of the Word of God.  I spent hours pouring over scripture...I craved it...I was drawn to the pages, to the ink, to the message for my life.  I wrote notes along the side.  I underlined verses that spoke truth and encouragement to my soul.  The pages of my Bible are worn and beautiful and precious to me.  I can only imagine standing in service and squinting just to read along with the pastor.  I can only imagine the deep desire to have the precious words in my hands...to call the book my own.  These men and women would sit and transcribe the Bible onto loose leaf paper just so they could have it for themselves...can you imagine?

As my class and I sat outside talking about the book, I wasn't sure where our discussion would take us.  But once again these young men and women enlightened me and God impressed it in my heart that perhaps, these 13 and 14 year olds really get it.  They know where their generation is headed and they recognize that their parents' generation is accepting their path, but they are quietly saying that it may not be the best path and no one is stopping it.

I asked them the following questions and here are their responses:

• Does your church encourage you to bring your Bible to church?
• No. 
• Does your pastor read from the Word of God (in text form)?
• Some said yes.  Others said that their pastor reads from the screen or perhaps from an iPad.  Many said that it is not uncommon to go through a worship service without ever opening the Bible
• Do your bring your Bible to church?
• Many said they don't think about it, and once they get there they don't worry about it because it is on their smart phone.
• Do you think there is a difference between reading the Bible in text form and reading it on your smart phone or tablet?
• There was not ONE student who said that it was the same.  They all said that they felt like reading and studying the Word in text form seemed more personal and engaging. 
• I had another student point out that when he does read scripture from his phone, he gets distracted because he has access to facebook, email or the internet.  He said that the end result is that he doesn't have a full worship and teaching experience.
• Side note from me: I saw a man text or checking his email in church Sunday.  This distraction is not just for the 8th grader, but for anyone who uses their phone as their Bible.
• What God moments, God blessings, and God truths are we missing because we are multi-tasking?  (This comes from the queen of multi-tasking!)
• Do you think that your children's generation will own a Bible in text form?
• Most said that if their children did, they didn't think they would actually use them.
• What do you think about the advances in technology and the impact it is having on the "church"?
• Varying answers:  One student said she wishes they still had basic Bible lessons and Bible drills to help them learn verses and the books of the Bible.  She said that she thinks that the church is trying too hard to entertain them instead of teaching and inspiring them.  Another student said that he thinks that this is the path their generation is on, but wishes that his parents would help them stop it.  He wants his parents to encourage the Bible in text form...to discourage the use of the smart phone on Sunday morning.  He said that because his parents don't (and in many cases have also stopped using the Bible in text form), then he just goes with the flow.  Another student said that because the Bible is always with them (on the large screen at church or on their smart phone), she is missing the opportunity to think about the importance of God's Word by the very act of bringing it to church.

I could not believe how honest and real these millennials were in their responses.  They were impressed by the churches behind the Iron Curtain because they understood the importance and power in the Word of God.  They were envious of the lengths these Christians would go to just to have access to the Bible, and we take it for granted.  Sunday morning, the Word of God is not our first priority, but rather an after thought.

Statistically, the millennial generation is more technologically savvy than the generations before them.  They are also walking away from the "church" at a high rate for a variety of reasons, but the end result is that they no longer see the importance for organized religion.  Churches are trying to find ways to engage these millennials in their faith and are reworking their worship services, promotions, and events in order to try and reign in a few of the millennials as they walk away.  Churches across our nation are becoming more technologically engaging through videos, the web, social media, and by their teaching styles.  I haven't been in a church in over a decade where they didn't have the scripture on the large screen... so why bring your Bible?  What message is the church sending to the millennials?  We want them to know and understand that organized church has a purpose and place for their lives.  We want them to recognize the importance, yet we are not modeling the importance of the very Book we base our beliefs upon.  Is the church sending mixed messages?

I do not have the answer on how to keep the millennials engaged in their faith, but based on a conversation with 28 young men and women, I do not think the answer is to put our Bibles on the shelf.  I do not believe that this is what they want or need...they are following the lead of the generation raising them...the parents, pastors, and church staff who are trying to reach them but in the wrong way.

I came home and made a decision.  I will start with me and my household.  I will bring my Bible to church and when the pastor starts to read, I will open the Word of God and read along.  I will ask my children if they have their Bibles when we leave for church Sunday morning.  I will not pack away the beautiful, precious Word of God.  At home, I will encourage my children to place their hands on the text...I will pray they will fall in love with the Holy Scriptures and that they will be a generation that stands up to those who have gone before them and shout "We want to open the Word of God and we will put away our tablets and smart phones!"  I will not take my Bible for granted.  I will remain in His Word, His beautiful, precious Word.

"For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart."  Hebrews 4:12

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."  Psalm 119:105

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."  John 1:1-2

I'm a Words Girl

Scott and I attended a church conference in Austin the last week of February.  The conference covered a plethora of topics, but the underlining theme is how to live a missional life and how to create a church that is on mission together.  Honestly, Scott REALLY wanted me to go because he thought I would understand where he is coming from when we have discussions about what discipleship should look like.  I have felt for months that he was minimizing the experience I had at our church early in our marriage.  Our Bible study, my mentor, and my friends had the biggest impact thus far on my spiritual journey.  Scott, on the other hand, has had a change of heart on how discipleship could be accomplished in a different way.  So here I sat amongst hundreds of men and dozens of women listening to what was being said, and I had a negative reaction to one word...one single word.  I write the word on my notepad and ask Scott what they mean.  I sit...think...fume...then as soon as I can, I ask Scott, our friends, and pastor if I am totally off base.  (They nod their supportive heads and tell me they understand what I am saying, and when THIS word is mentioned for 2 days they chuckle at how annoyed I am!)

You might be asking yourself what is this word that has me in such an uproar?  The word is incarnational!  How can this wonderful word be so irritating to me?

The speakers told us to be incarnational.  Scott's best explanation as to what they mean is, "That we are to go into the world and share the gospel."  Ummm OK I get that.  I agree with that, but shouldn't we use a different word?  Incarnational means something entirely different to me.  It is a beautiful word that says with just 5 syllables that Jesus loves us with such fervor that He was willing to leave paradise in order to live amongst us and share the TRUTH with us and through His death He completed the ultimate sacrifice for us, mere sinners.

Incarnation according to Merriam-Webster is:

• a (1): the embodiment of a deity or spirit in some earthly form (2)capitalized: the union of divinity with humanity in Jesus Christ b: a concrete or actual form of a quality or concept; especially: a person showing a trait or typical character to a marked degree <she is the incarnation of goodness>
• the act of incarnating : the state of being incarnate
• a particular physical form or state : version <in another incarnation he might be a first vice-president

I think I am most bothered that we are taking this amazing word and changing the meaning...somehow lessening its true meaning.  Its life-changing, life-saving meaning.  I absolutely believe that as believers we are commanded to take the gospel to the ends of the earth!  God's Word leaves little room to wiggle out of this truth.

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit"  Matthew 28:19

"Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation."  Mark 16:15

"but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth."  Acts 1:8

An important truth for a believer to understand and apply that truth to their daily life is the concept of going, sharing, telling, and discipling.  It isn't something we can pass off to the few who are passionate and "gifted" in teaching.  That isn't how it works biblically, nor will we be able to accomplish the Christ given command with the "elect" few.  So many Christians sit on the sidelines and pat the backs of the few who are taking the gospel to the lost, hurting, and the forgotten.  So do I believe that believers are supposed to go and share the gospel?  ABSOLUTELY!  Do I believe that we should apply the word incarnational to mere humans?  NOPE!  I don't.  (Scott thinks I am a words person and I get hung up on words...maybe he is right...OK I am sure he is right.  Regardless, I don't want anyone to describe me as incarnational.)

We are entering the week of remembrance of God's provision for us.  He provided the ultimate sacrifice for our sins so that we might stand righteous before Him.  We think about Christ's death...the pain...the agony...the rejection.  We celebrate and give thanks that Jesus did not remain dead, but rose again and stands beside His Father.  We take a week to reflect on the AWESOMENESS of God and how much He, in fact, does love us.  What Jesus did for you and for me... that is totally different than what I do when I minister to the homeless.  What we do when we live our life missionally, or living our life with the intention of serving those we encounter and sharing the gospel is beautiful and obedient.  But, I am not choosing to leave Heaven and the Heavenly Father to be me.  I am trying to be an obedient child of God.  I do not want to put my puny efforts on the same page as the incarnation of Christ.  I just don't! 

With my arms stretched to the heavens I give thanks to the Messiah!  Thank you Jesus for loving me.  Thank you Jesus for mercy, grace, and truth.  Thank you my Savior for being incarnational!

Easier Internationally?

One night last week, Scott and I sat on the porch swing and talked until well past midnight.  We talked about ministry, church, our family, and how we are doing in reaching those around us.  Conversations like this one replay in my mind for days, and I spent time thinking about the direction our life could have gone, the direction our life has gone, and the direction our life will go.

A few years ago, Scott and I applied to the mission board and we were turned down (twice) because of our Scottie and their concern with how she would do in another country.  We believed that we were supposed to transplant our family into another country and simply be us...live life for Christ and as we had interactions with others, we could demonstrate and share the hope of a Savior.  We understood that God placed Scottie in our life, and He is her Creator so if we were told no then it was a no we could accept.  After our second rejection from the mission board, Scott accepted his first ministry calling to help plant a church.  We believed that God had prepared our hearts for ministry, and we were excited to go on the journey.

Last week as Scott and I assessed how things were going, I made the comment that I thought it would be easier to be in another country and minister to those around me.  Living here in our country, in our comfort zone, I realized that we don't reach out to our neighbors.  I work at a Christian school, have Christian friends, serve in a church and have left very little time to minister to the those we are in need...the lost and the hurting.  I fill my days with taking care of My family in My home.  I decide what interactions I want to have and what I am willing to do.  I check off all the appropriate Christian things off of my Christian To Do List.  (I play the part very well.) 

Yet, I am not satisfied.

I am not satisfied because I am not living my God purposed life to its fullest.  I am not satisfied because God designed His children to do more.  He has placed a desire in me to love the lost and hurting and when I do not obey, the Spirit will continue to poke and prod me towards obedience and service.

Perhaps it would be easier to live in another country where my "job" is to love my family and live my life out loud!  Perhaps it would be easier if my only purpose was to share the hope I have with those I encounter.  Perhaps it would be easier if the comforts of "home" were removed.  But I serve a God who is not a God of hypotheticals, but a God of ACTION.  I need to become intentional wherever I live...America or Portugal.  I need to do the things my Father has commanded me to at home, in my neighborhood, and as I go about life.  I need to allow the Spirit to guide me into the uncomfortable because it is there, and only there, that I will find satisfaction!

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

"There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off."  Proverbs 23:18

"the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel"  Colossians 1:5

"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope"  2 Thessalonians 2:16

"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."  Romans 5:5

Who me?

This week is spring break and we invited three of our nieces to stay with us.  We have had so much fun with them and there has been LOTS of laughter.  This evening I sat with two of these young ladies and we talked about life.  Somewhere in the midst of our talk they imitated me when I correct or discipline or "get onto" one of the kids.  I will be honest, their imitation startled me because the way they saw my actions was not how I see myself. 

I had that "Who me?" moment!

I realized tonight that my tone and correction are seen by my kids entirely different than how I intend it to be as I correct them.  I need to stop and look at myself through my children's eyes and today my nieces gave me a glimpse.  I am not proud of what they see....

If I want my children to be kind and speak with love to one another, then I need to have kindness and love spilling out of my heart and mouth.

If I want my children to be respectful to others, then I need to demonstrate respect even in the midst of times of correction.

If I want my children to demonstrate the fruits of the spirit, then I must demonstrate the fruits of the spirit.

If I want my children to handle conflict in a calm, godly way, then I certainly need to handle conflict in a calm, godly way.

What an awesome opportunity to see me through the eyes of someone else, but this opportunity hurts and I cannot ignore what I saw.  I must slow down and become the person I so desperately desire my children to become. 

Lord, please start with me.  I ask that the Holy Spirit would help me to see myself as they see me.  I ask the Father to teach me how to parent as He wants me.  No more excuses or disbelief...no more "Who me?".  This realization may hurt, but from pain comes change and from a godly change God will be glorified. So Lord, please start with me!!!

Church

I have had a lot on my mind lately...

What is it that we are looking for in our churches?  What are we willing to tolerate because we receive the many benefits the church has to offer?  Are we willing to challenge our churches to do more? 

I am astonished that there are churches who pat themselves on the back because they have "given"  millions of dollars to "missions" but the truth of the matter is that the "missions" money may actually cover the salary of a missions' pastor, media expenses, or perhaps a self promoting event.  Shouldn't missions money be committed to the parts of our country and world who are lost and hurting?  The idea of "given" implies that it wasn't God's in the first in place.  It is ALL God's money...what does He want the church to do with it? 

I dream of American churches who are no longer focused on building programs that continue to serve themselves.  I dream of American churches who no longer ask what do our members want, but rather how can we guide our members to serve and love like Christ.  I dream of American churches who do not settle for giving a small percentage of their overall tithes and offerings to missions, but rather give and give until it hurts.  Churches that sacrifice something like a billboard in order to build a well in Africa.  I dream of American churches that no longer focus on how to get more people to come to their building of worship, but rather how they can go to the people and worship with them...in the street...in their homes...in places that take them out of their comfort.

I know I am not alone in this dream.  I know that others see the same thing I see and feel the same urgency to minister to the lost and hurting.  One of the problems is that the members of the church are asking their leaders to continue to provide programing for themselves.  The members want the church to disciple their children.  The members demand that their church keep up with the mega church.  Why?  Why have we become an entitled church?  Why are we raising a generation of children who feel they are entitled?

I have thought about this entitlement issue for years.  Honestly, there may not be an easy answer to why?  I realize that, but I know that if we were raising a generation of children who were in love with Jesus and gave their hearts and lives to Him alone they would not feel entitled, but they would feel compelled to do more for others in order to give God, not themselves, the glory!  We need churches who push us to think outside of ourselves.  We need pastors and leaders who are willing to love us enough to challenge us.  We need Bible study teachers who open the Bible and teach the Word of God with such passion that we want to learn more.  We need to serve others more than we demand others to serve us!

In the last month, I have attended a church conference and had many conversations with great friends.  I have heard truth, God's truth, and I have also seen heads nod yes to false statements.  I am amazed at how someone can publicly speak with confidence and the words out of their mouths are not biblically sound, yet the audience heads continue to nod yes.  I want to stand up and shout NO!  Think for yourselves...not about yourselves...think of what Jesus would do...not what can the church do for me...think how can I serve the lost and hurting...and not what program could help me keep the kids entertained.

Let me take a second to say I am not writing about a particular church...I am certainly not writing about my place of worship.  I am writing about the shift our church (the collective church) must make in order to do what God has asked us to do.  I am writing about Christians funneling what their church says and does through the Word of God and demand that their church be different...demand that their church make a difference in all nations. 

"Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”   Matthew 28:18-20

^"Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms."  1 Peter 4:10

"Don't do anything from selfish ambition, or from a cheap desire to boast; but be humble towards each other, never thinking you are better than others. And look out for each other's interests, not just for your own."  Philippians 2:3-4



I want so desperately for my four children to love others as only a believer who has given their life completely to the One who has saved them can.  I will not leave it to the church to disciple them.  It will not be a church program that teaches them how to glorify God in everything they do and say.  This desire requires walking with them and serving the lost and hurting.  We will study the Word of God and ask, "What can I do?".  I will start with me.  I will start with my family.  I will allow our Shepherd to guide us along the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake (Psalm 23).